Does sleeping with someone husband mean u are desperate?

i feel bad that i still love my ex boyfriend from many years ago he is married and my name is cathy and her name is cathy we still like each other alot over all these years we feel like we should have been married am i desperate for someone i left my husband due to his drugs use and have been single for three years am i rebounding cause he shows me attention noone ask me out so i say to myself he likes me and even though hes married it is ok bettter than pining behind my husband